Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
