He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
