I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
