There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
