I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
whose ass print is on the piano?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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