you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
