I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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