Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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