Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
