We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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