I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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