Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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