I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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