bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
