In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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