Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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