I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
