this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
