I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That was an excessively violent trivia night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
