he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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