don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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