Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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