everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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