I just made out with a guy for $7.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
