He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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