Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
