He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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