I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize