You're so nebulous sometimes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
