we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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