I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
