Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
