I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
