If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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