and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
