I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
