Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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