I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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