I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
