what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
