So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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