in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
