I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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