I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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