It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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