put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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