Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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