Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize