i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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