Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
