hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
