Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(678): View more from Georgia

Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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(913): View more from Kansas

just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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(530): View more from California

The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.

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(831): View more from California

oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.

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(334): View more from Alabama

My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?

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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.

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(214): View more from Texas

New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!

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