So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
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I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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