He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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