I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
