therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
