I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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