Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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