grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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