I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
